I’m Right And You’re Wrong

July 20, 2017

How many times have you been a conversation were someone was insisting on being right? It seemed like they weren’t even listening to what you had to say. They were just addicted to wanting to be RIGHT! They just wanted to prove their point, position or claim. Every time that we get in this mind-set we actually release dopamine into our body and get a good high from it. We want to prove a point, get the right answers and look smart.

Now being smart is great, however if there is no emotional intelligence behind the smarts we are really not growing, learning and communicating well. We actually remain stuck, and actually are damaging our relationships in business and in our personal life. If you are a boss or in a leadership position, this is vital for the health of your company.

It is wanting to be in a position of power and control rather than cooperation. When we learn how to listen and just be open to another point of view, it will allow so much trust and open dialog. We shift to create the freedom to explore possibilities and look for solutions to problems rather than slam the door shut on any other view point.

So the next time you feel the urge to be RIGHT, rather than react, take a moment to respond in a different way.

Here are three suggestions to keep an open mind and respond rather than that knee jerk reaction:

1-Ask- How do you feel?

2- Ask- What do you think?

3-Ask-How can we work together to find an answer?

Would your rather be RIGHT or do the RIGHT thing?

Here is a short video explaining how our ego gets in the way of our success.

If you would like to find a healthier way to communicate let’s talk! Call me.

Monica

 


A One, Two Punch!

July 13, 2017

 

hard on oneself

I think one of the biggest challenges people go through is that their too hard on themselves. We beat ourselves up with guilt, shame and other negative emotions. Why do we do this to ourselves? It is because over the years, people have spilled their negative energy on you, their attitudes, their beliefs, their unhealthy self -esteem. Where did they get it? The same way you have been getting it. People have spilled it on them. And on on it goes until you STOP being to hard on yourself.

I should have done it better! I should have passed that test! I shouldn’t have ate that box of chocolates! Some times we screw up, it’s OK! The more we go through this cycle the longer we stay in.

When we learn to love ourselves and embrace our strengths and our weaknesses, we can stop knocking ourselves down and raise up.

We are spiritual beings having this human experience. Being human is to enjoy and celebrate life. To celebrate You! Celebrate being here now! Celebrate all the good things that you’ve done and are continuing to accomplish. Celebrate your lessons in life. Celebrate the little things.

You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or anything other than being YOU!

Your good enough and a child of God! You are a gift, so celebrate that!

Enjoy this video and get inspired to Celebrate Life!


Feedback Or Feedforward?

July 7, 2017

feedbackHow many times have you gotten feedback from people who mean well however the seemingly good suggestions come out sounding negative? You know things like, you performed really great but if you could have done this one thing it would have been amazing. Or maybe your employer said something like, good job, but if you could have added this or that, it could have been even better.

Let’s face it feedback is necessary to see how we can improve, but what if we got feedforward instead? What if before we actually took on a task we got suggestions on how to improve in a positive way. If we were encouraged, we naturally want to do better.

I remember when I was in third grade, and my teacher Mrs. Weber always gave me feedforward. I wanted to always strive to be my best in her class.  She created a space for me to feel secure, loved and calm.

We learn when we feel encouraged. We learn when we feel like people care. It is actually positive feedback.

Watch this amazing video on how this young boy was able to get better and better at drawing, by his peers giving him encouragement.

What would you be able achieve if you were given some positive feedback? A coach is your advocate to encourage you to be your best. Need a Coach? Let’s talk.


Use It or Loss It!

June 29, 2017

Success is the result of behavior, which is determined by attitudes, which are formed by conditioning, which takes place through spaced repetition.

Actually, it all starts with the thoughts we think, which will lead to the same choices. The same choices always create the same behaviors, and the same behaviors will always create the same experiences and the same experiences will always create the same emotions and those emotions will drive the same thoughts. Whew! So how do we change?

Through spaced repetition. 

Repetitive learning is the only vehicle to modify conditioning, which alters the attitude that controls behavior, which produces results we want.

Years ago when I wanted to change my negative thinking and behaviors, I would listen to audio tapes in my car when I was driving, watch motivational videos, read inspirational books, keep a gratitude journal, say affirmations, go to seminars, associate with positive people to change and most importantly, hire a coach! You know what? I still do the same things years later.

You must continue to change every day because if you don’t use it, you lose it.

Need help in changing Your behaviors? Let’s talk.


Risk Being Alive!

June 15, 2017

risk being alive“It has been said,most people die at age 25 and don’t get buried until they are 65. “Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it.” Les Brown

What’s the risk of being alive?  So many people are really afraid of being or doing something they really want to do,  something is holding them back. Fear! Limiting beliefs about not being good enough, smart enough, rich enough or you fill in the blanks… The greatest tragedy is dying with your dreams still in you!

I think back to  when I was a teenager and I had a desire to become a great dancer. I loved to dance and still do, however I didn’t have the confidence to pursue a career in it. I would listen to over peoples options like there are too many starving dancers and actors out there and you’ll never make a living doing this. I allowed other peoples limiting beliefs to clog my thinking. Now, besides coaching  I teach empowerment dance classes! How cool is that!!! It is never to late to do, be or have what you want. Determination, persistence, faith and passion will lead the way.

Check out my interview with Jack Canfield. I  Know I can be, do or have what ever I desire and so can you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l35fhsYpBVg&t=17s

So, if you’re ready to risk being ALIVE and want to see how to make your dreams come true, let’s talk!


Are Your Thoughts Killing You?

June 7, 2017
If Your Happy and You Know it, Clap Your Hands!
Silly? Not so. Do you know that there is a direct link between how we feel and cancer?
 

Determining your risk of cancer has a lot to do with your emotional state of mind.
I remember reading a book many moons ago entitled ” You Can’t Afford A Negative Thought” (I don’t remember the author).
Negative thoughts produce, cortisol, adrenaline, and other potentially harmful hormones.
 More and more neuroscience is discovering how true this statement is.
How we communicate in business and in our personal lives are also effecting our chemistry. The hormone oxytocine is the tend and befriend hormone. It is a feel good hormone. It is a fabulous hormone to release into your bloodstream to attract new clients and establish warm and engaging relationships.It is the charismatic hormone and people will be naturally drawn to you.
Wouldn’t you want to learn how to at download this hormone at will?

We can learn to access this hormone at will through understanding a few simple techniques.

oxytocin
You must understand the great laws of nature to begin to use them in your favor.
The 1st law of nature is that everything is energy. EVERYTHING!!!
The 2nd law, is thoughts move energy.
The 3rd law is we are always working with the law of attraction or the law of repulsion.
PROFESSIONAL SALESPEOPLE ARE EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATORS.
 One of the greatest problems in sales is communication, or the lack of it. To effectively lead a prospect, it is necessary to remember that you are communicating on three different levels of life, simultaneously.
To become a professional salesperson, effective communication is essential.
You cannot function in a truly dynamic, creative manner by yourself; you need a COACH or a team of COACHES trained in understanding these laws.

When it becomes a habit to help your prospects get what they want in life, the Law will see that your customers will be the medium through which your good will be delivered to you. That is the LAW.

 “The law of cause and effect is the law of laws.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Anyone who would like to learn more on how to become an effective communicator and download some oxytocin, please reach out. I love to communicate

Yeah I Failed

June 1, 2017

I have failed at so many things that you would think I would be stuck, sad and resentful! However, I am just the opposite. I look at the bigger picture. I look at it as failing forward. I keep moving forward until I reach a breakthrough.

You see, if your not failing, you’re probably not really moving forward.  You must use adversity to improve yourself and climb higher. If your mind is fixed and inflexible you won’t even try, but if your open to growing, you will try something even if it doesn’t work out.

Sara Blakely became the youngest self made billionaire by her drive and determination to fail forward. She was encouraged as a young girl to try new things, and if she failed

( which was often) was congratulated for putting in the effort. If we can learn by her example we would all develop the growth mindset instead of the fixed one.

You only fail when you give up, so keep going!

Need a jump start to fail forward? Let’s talk, 516-297-0672 or positivemonica@yahoo.com


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