July 10, 2019
Two weeks ago, I was taking a flight back from Atlanta to Kennedy Airport. The flight was delayed do to thunderstorms so I arrived in New York after midnight. Because of this the next train taking me to my home town was over an hour wait. I was grumbling and cursing that it was late, I was tired and wanted to get home. Then I said to myself, STOP IT! There’s nothing you can do so you must be here for a reason.
After taking the air-train to Jamaica station, I was pacing back and forth when I noticed a young Asian girl by herself with lots of luggage crying and her head down into her cell phone. I asked her if there was something wrong and if I could help in some way. She nodded her head no. I left her alone but couldn’t let it go, so I was insistent to find out if she needed help. She finally opened up and said she came here alone from China and had nowhere to stay for the night. Her airbnd wasn’t available until tomorrow morning and she didn’t know what to do. At this point an officer on duty came by too. I told him what her dilemma was and we both agreed that she should just stay at the Jamaica terminal until the morning. That it is safer than venturing out in the middle of the night.
So she agreed. But she was still sobbing. Finally she trusted me enough to share that she didn’t know she could take an air-train to Jamaica, so she took a gypsy cab which charged her a $100.00 then quickly switched the $100 dollar bill for a $1 dollar bill and said she owned him another $100.00 (Not Kind!) OMG, that got my goat! I felt so sorry for her that she got ripped off of $200.00. Well, I gave her my business card and told her that if she needed anything at all, to please reach out.
She contacted me the next day and thanked me profusely! She said it made all the difference. Then she texted me right before she was leaving to let me know I gave her so much courage!. Just be kind. It changes everything! What goes around comes around. Be kind, Be nice! The more people can do this the better world you will see and experience.
July 3, 2019
Let’s face it, life can be darn hard at times. It can knock you down, turn you inside out and twist you around. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t achieved greatness without going through some sort of adversity.
The difference between those that succeeded and those that didn’t is the faith and courage to get back up and go at it again. Also, having someone in your corner. someone who sees your goodness and sees something that you can’t or don’t believe in yet. There were times that I wanted to give up on myself but something inside me kept me going. You can call it source energy, God, spirit, consciousness or infinite intelligence, but it’s real and it always available to tap into.
If you’re going through some tough times, you can grow through it. To reach mastery in anything, or to overcome anything ask your heart for guidance and then give it your all. Grow through it! Nothing happens by accident. Learn from adversity and grow. You’ll amaze yourself who you can become!
June 26, 2019
Intimacy is a word that people think of when it comes to sex and getting physically close with someone. However, intimacy has more to do with connecting on a level where you are able to trust, share, be open to exposing your feelings on a very deep level. It is about being vulnerable and feeling secure enough to communicate your truth. You even become intimate with yourself! To love yourself enough that your thoughts and feelings are okay, what ever they are.
If you weren’t able to express your feelings as a child, most likely you learned to hide them, avoid them, suppress them, dumb them and find other ways to not let people see your true self. You don’t even want to see your true self. If you’ve been hurt physically or mentally it changes who you think you are. You develop an armor shield to protect yourself.
But you will always have that insecurity and shame around you. It will follow you and keep you a prisoner in your own body. You might think you’re protected but you’re exposed. Who you really are speaks louder than your words. This is were help is so important. We can’t see our blind spots. You can get naked in bed but until you take off your armor you’re not connecting . Getting intimate is one of the most liberating feelings. So, isn’t it time you come out to play and in to me see?
June 19, 2019
Honesty doesn’t always pay but dishonesty always costs
What is it about not being honest with ourselves or with others that people think they can hid and get away with? I tried to lie as a kid when I thought I would get punished, but I always got caught. Some how I never was able to get away with lying.
But what I’m talking about is not being real with ourselves. Being brutally honest with what works or what’s not working in our lives and making a change. I can remember staying in a relationship longer than I wanted to because I did’t want to hurt the other person. I compromised by values and rationalized (which I refer to as rational lies) to myself. Gosh, it was such an awful feeling that effected my health. I had headaches all the time!
Honest is the best policy. At the end of the day, being truthful and getting something off your chest to reveal what is in your heart and mind is so liberating. As a coach, I see this pattern so often. You get stressed and feel anxiety because you don’t want to change, even if you’re unhappy. You would rather numb the pain, hide the pain, shove it under the rug, stuff it, avoid it, lie about it, minimize it, blame others or anything to not having to deal with it. There is always a price to pay.
Let’s face it, it can be uncomfortable to reveal what you’ve been trying to hide. We are as sick as our secrets. So let the truth set you free, and get real like Pinocchio.
June 12, 2019
A good seaman weathers the storms he can not avoid, and avoids the storms he can not weather. Perhaps the key is to identify the difference.
I recently attended a funeral of a man who literally drank himself to death. He was an alcoholic in the depths of his addiction. It truly is a disease. It was a man I did not know well, but was there to support a friend who was involved with him. Some of his siblings spoke about him which revealed a man in his younger years was an extremely gifted and talented sailor, surfer, athlete and dancer. He went to Julliard for ballet! So what happened? When does a life start to take a turn and head into stormy waters? How can you navigate out of it? Why didn’t he get help? What was it that he was avoiding? So many questions, but no answers.
It was as if his life was battling a constant storm that he couldn’t get out of.
You might be going through some storms of your own or have gone through some turbulent times. We all go through tough times in life. With support and guidance you can get through them and even avoid some of them. You always need a good skipper on hand to help you see things you can’t as you are steering your way through life! So, if your going through a storm in your life, ask for help, pray, meditate on it and know anything is possible to get through with faith and courage.
June 5, 2019
“Alone we can do so little, but together we can do so much.”
Last August, I got a call from my ex-husband. We communicate once in awhile, usually over something having to do with our grown kids. We have been divorced for over 25 years. It was a friendly parting. In other words we split on good terms. Well, he called me because he needed some help. He was going through some tough financial times and asked if I had any work that he could do in exchange for living quarters for a few months.
Being a master carpenter that he is, I did need a new front porch deck since the old one was rotting. So, I agreed. Now it is June and the deck is finally finished. He did an amazing job.
Why I am posting this is because, we all go through some tough times and need a little help from our friends at times. I’m not suggesting that you invite someone into your home who is abusive or harmful, but we can offer a helping hand to those in need. It goes a long way. I was able to find him some work through a mutual friend and now he is able to get back on his feet.
Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t easy for me to share my space with him all the time. Sometimes it was damn hard! But I opened my heart to someone in need and I’m so happy I did. If you want more compassion in the world today, you must be the change you want to see. It isn’t always convenient but it is a practice. Where can you open your heart to help someone? We can do so much with a little help from our friends.
May 30, 2019
“Life should be a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
I love watching movies. Old movies that is. I am fascinated with movies that were made in the 40’s and 50’s. I find that most of them were done so well. The script, acting, cinematography, and production were first class. I do like some of the movies made today but I don’t go out of my way to watch them, so when I’m on a plane, I get a chance to catch up on the new releases. On my way home from Australia last month, I got caught up. One of the movies I watched was a National Geographic Movie, Free Solo. OMG, it was amazing. It made me think of what it means to be alive. To live your life like you were on the edge of life or death, literally.
It made me think of what the meaning of life really is and what is it that holds us back from living it full out. I mean, I don’t have the calling to scale mountains like Alex Honnold, but I do know my purpose and have a desire to reach more people through coaching because I love my work and I know it works. It made me think of what I need to do to become better, more focused and give it my all.
If you have a desire inside you, really ask yourself, what are you willing to do, to give up and practice to become your best? To live fully and be alive! Go for it. Reach inside of yourself for the answers. Stir up that juice that is calling you to something greater. Go watch the movie, maybe it will inspire you as it did me. You have greatness in you. What is calling you? Go for it! Seek it and you shall find! Risk Being Alive!