Don’t Leave Me Out!

May 22, 2019

 

Are your thoughts and words supporting you and creating a beautiful vision for your future or sabotaging you and keeping you a victim of your past? Words change worlds and make the invisible, visible.

As humans, our need to connect and feel like we belong is more important than anything else. When we don’t feel like we belong, we don’t feel safe, when we don’t feel safe, there is no trust, and when there is no trust, we protect ourselves and shut down.

When we shut down, there is no room for growth, the ability to learn or create. It feels like a pit in your stomach, like an unspoken entity that wants to be heard but you’re too afraid or don’t know how to talk about it.  Our emotions go into overdrive, fear sets in and our nervous system triggers the fight, flight or freeze responds. You’re in pure survival mode. Our amygdala gets hijacked and our brains are up-regulating stress hormones which compromises our immune system, causing dis-ease.

As opposed to when we feel safe, there is a feeling of openness and trust. The energy is completely different. There is a coherence between the heart and the brain which allows for cooperation, sharing, compassion and growth. We are able to navigate the uncertainties of life with faith and courage. When we feel safe and connected, we are building, expanding, developing, celebrating and creating possibilities that we didn’t see before. We fall in love with life!  The hormone oxytocin, the love hormone is oozing from our hearts.  Trust is generated by our pre-frontal cortex or the executive brain. The ladder is generated by our primitive brain, or the limbic brain. This is the shift we need to make so we can evolve from the survival mind-set to the creative mind-set.

Our words and the energy behind them can make someone feel included or excluded.

So, the question now is how do we transform a conversation so we can communicate on a higher level to open up the connections with ourselves and others.

It’s by making the invisible, visible. We must become aware of the feelings that are being triggered inside of us and the chemical cocktails we are either up regulating or down regulating within our bodies through the language of conversations.

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Fill In the Blanks

May 14, 2019

Texting has become a great way of communicating. However if there is a gap between the exchange it can also leave you feeling insecure. When this happens, you might fill in the blanks with made up stories. We have gotten so used to instant responses in everything we do. If it takes a second too long we are scrolling, deleting or on to something else.

We can google anything and get the answer immediately. So, when it comes to texting as a way of communicating there might be some blanks that keep you guessing. What does this actually mean? What is she trying to say? Or, if you don’t get an answer back right away, your brain might start to make up a story that their mad at you, and the last text she send sounded cold or any number of things that your emotional brain can stir up.

Relationships are all about having open and honest communication. If your filling in the gaps, than it is best to talk in person to clarify the misunderstanding. Texting is a great way to feel connected but it can also be a double edge sword.

Communication is the key to any great relationship. Make sure your words are texting that!

 


I Flopped

May 8, 2019

Did you ever try something and just flop? I was asked to be one of the  speakers for a start-up TV internet show, which I’ve done before. I mean, this was not my first rodeo. I’ve spoken many times before, but this time, I just flopped. I could blame it on the stage, the distractions that were numerous or any number of other things, however the bottom line is a screwed up. I had my talk memorized, I practiced over and over and over again. I recorded myself, I read it out load so many times I can’t even count. I wrote it on index cards, nothing helped. And it wasn’t even like I got nervous, it was just this weird brain freeze that occurred. So, I just improvised. Everyone in the audience said it was great, but I know what my good is and it was far from that. But you know what? I was okay with flopping. I didn’t beat myself up over it.

In the past, I would have been so hard on myself, but now, I strike it up to experience. I get back up and go do it again. Sometimes we get knocked down. Sometimes we fail, sometimes we make mistakes and some times we don’t make the grade.

I ask myself what did I learn from this experience and how can I improve?

Nothing helpful will come from beating yourself up over a failure. It is all about failing forward. failure is part of success. If you haven’t failed most likely you won’t succeed. So the next time you flop, brushed yourself, congratulate yourself for even trying and onward and upward.

 

 


Peace Out

May 1, 2019

 

Did you ever feel like you have too much on your plate! That you have so much going on that you just don’t know how you’re going to get it all done?

I was on vacation for 10 days and when I returned home, it seems like I can’t catch up to all the things that are on my to do list. Yikes! That feeling of being overwhelmed can creep right into my brain and disturb my peace of mind.

Thank God I meditate, take great care of my health, eat well, dance, walk, breath, read inspirational books, stay connected to positive people and journal. If I didn’t do these practices every day, I would loss it. Really, there is way too much to keep up with. A day at a time or a minute at a time, sometimes. I know if I try to force things to happen, I’m working too hard. That is why staying connected to a higher consciousness, call it God, infinite intelligence or what you want is oh so vital.

 

 

 

 

It took many years to feel this peace but once you establish the habit, wow, it is my savior.

So, if you feel overwhelmed with too many things on your plate. Pause, take a few deep breaths and relax. Then, surrender it all. Let it all go. It will all get done. And if it doesn’t tomorrow is another day. Find your joy in every moment! It’s there if you look for it!

Peace out!


How May I Serve

April 10, 2019

“Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.”

John Kennedy

I wrote a book entitled How May I Serve, memoirs of a spiritual waitress. (Pen name Karen Mathews) Being of service gives my soul and spirit the greatest joy. I feel so uplifted when I am helping another person or a group of people. When they are uplifted we all rise. I believe we all want to do this. When we find our purpose and ignite it with passion we will thrive together.

What can you do to uplift someone? How can you be of service? It starts with small acts of kindness. That’s all it takes. Hold the door open for someone. Put a quarter in someones meter that is about to expire. Volunteer your time, donate some money. The more you give the more you get. That’s the law. Happy Giving!


Fast and Furious

April 3, 2019

If you want to go fast -go alone. If you want to go far-go together.

African Proverb

We seem to have a culture today based on “it’s all about me”. What’s in it for me! But that is not how we are going to get out of the mess that we created over millions of years of evolution. Lets face it, the world is in chaos! Going it alone is a recipe for more disaster.

You might go fast and furious but eventually you are just going to burn out and  fall flat on your face.  The only way we are going to evolve is to work together. To cooperate and to co-create. This is a time in history were we need to join hands and help each other. To lift each other up and come together, rather than tear each other down and compete. That old mind-set is what  got us in to this mess from the beginning. We lost our way, and we are afraid to ask for directions.


If we begin to work and play together we can reach  highest you never even dreamed of alone. There is no I in team. This is a collective process. Where two or more are gathered anything is possible. Are you in?

 


I’m Having A Heart On

March 28, 2019

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.

 

My heart is busting open with love, joy, gratitude, abundance, happiness and all good things. I’m literally having a heart on! That’s when Oxytocin (the love hormone) stimulates the production on nitric oxide which actually pumps more blood into the heart area engorging it. Once you have coherence in your heart and mind you will feel complete. When you feel complete you don’t want or need anything and everything can then come to you! It is the coolest feeling ever!!!


When my heart is open I just want to share this feeling with everyone! All I want is for others to feel this good. People are more stressed out then ever. There is so much change happening in the world that people are getting so overwhelmed.  Anxiety and depression is a pandemic these days. If you could only learn a few tools, techniques and strategies to connect on a heart level, you too can have a heart on.  All it takes is to let go of all the things that doesn’t bring you joy and start focusing on the things that do. The more you do this the more you activate your heart center and send energy there. If you need support, reach out. You will be so happy you did!


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