May 8, 2019
Did you ever try something and just flop? I was asked to be one of the speakers for a start-up TV internet show, which I’ve done before. I mean, this was not my first rodeo. I’ve spoken many times before, but this time, I just flopped. I could blame it on the stage, the distractions that were numerous or any number of other things, however the bottom line is a screwed up. I had my talk memorized, I practiced over and over and over again. I recorded myself, I read it out load so many times I can’t even count. I wrote it on index cards, nothing helped. And it wasn’t even like I got nervous, it was just this weird brain freeze that occurred. So, I just improvised. Everyone in the audience said it was great, but I know what my good is and it was far from that. But you know what? I was okay with flopping. I didn’t beat myself up over it.
In the past, I would have been so hard on myself, but now, I strike it up to experience. I get back up and go do it again. Sometimes we get knocked down. Sometimes we fail, sometimes we make mistakes and some times we don’t make the grade.
I ask myself what did I learn from this experience and how can I improve?
Nothing helpful will come from beating yourself up over a failure. It is all about failing forward. failure is part of success. If you haven’t failed most likely you won’t succeed. So the next time you flop, brushed yourself, congratulate yourself for even trying and onward and upward.
October 12, 2017
Ego, we all have one. Our egos are the attachment to our self-image. When we are aware of our ego, we will have a healthy balance of self-esteem and self worth. If we believe we are superior to others we will act in ways that will express this identity through gaining power and authority over others. If we believe we are inferior or unworthy we will have an ego that shows us that this is true too.
Either way, these are false images. Being aware of our ego and not attaching to the self-image of who we think we are is how we can go beyond self limiting beliefs about ourselves.
I know that when I was a teenager, I never felt confident in myself. I felt I wasn’t good enough. It was a trying time for me. My father got sick when I was 15 years old and then passed away 2 years later. During these years it was very difficult for me to see past my ego that identified with not being loved and feelings of unworthiness.
It was a heavy burden to carry. After seeking help and counseling, I became aware that this wasn’t the truth. I was able to see beyond my ego and transform these limiting beliefs that keep me a prisoner of my own thinking.
When you feel your ego trying to edge in and get the better of you, stop and talk to yourself. Take a deep breath and become aware of what is going on. Maybe you need to speak up or maybe you need to meditate on something to gain clarity. Turn off the noise outside of you and inside of you. Listen to the quite voice within. The ego is loud and boastful, your authentic spirit is gentle, loving and kind.
Need more help? Reach out and listen to your inner voice that is always guiding you.
July 20, 2017
How many times have you been a conversation were someone was insisting on being right? It seemed like they weren’t even listening to what you had to say. They were just addicted to wanting to be RIGHT! They just wanted to prove their point, position or claim. Every time that we get in this mind-set we actually release dopamine into our body and get a good high from it. We want to prove a point, get the right answers and look smart.
Now being smart is great, however if there is no emotional intelligence behind the smarts we are really not growing, learning and communicating well. We actually remain stuck, and actually are damaging our relationships in business and in our personal life. If you are a boss or in a leadership position, this is vital for the health of your company.
It is wanting to be in a position of power and control rather than cooperation. When we learn how to listen and just be open to another point of view, it will allow so much trust and open dialog. We shift to create the freedom to explore possibilities and look for solutions to problems rather than slam the door shut on any other view point.
So the next time you feel the urge to be RIGHT, rather than react, take a moment to respond in a different way.
Here are three suggestions to keep an open mind and respond rather than that knee jerk reaction:
1-Ask- How do you feel?
2- Ask- What do you think?
3-Ask-How can we work together to find an answer?
Would your rather be RIGHT or do the RIGHT thing?
Here is a short video explaining how our ego gets in the way of our success.
If you would like to find a healthier way to communicate let’s talk! Call me.
February 1, 2017
“You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life…”
How many times to we compromise our happiness for someone else? We give our energy away to make other people happy or do things that zaps our precious life. Then at the end of the day we are feeling exhausted, angry or depressed.
That was my modus operandi for many years until I became aware that I was responsible for my own happiness and joy. I was actually teaching people how to treat me. I was a people pleaser.
We all have so much energy, and if you are giving it away to easily, like money you will be broke. You will become down and out and wonder why your feeling so awful.
True happiness and joy come from honoring your values and what makes you feel good. Be good to yourself. If you give yourself away to easily not only do you feel bad but your no good for anyone else either!
Take a few minutes every day and connect with yourself. Breathe! Do something everyday that makes you feel good! Take a walk, listen to something inspirational or what ever that thing is that lifts you up and feels good.
Think of how much more valuable you will be when your bank account is full of happiness !
Need help to reclaim your energy and happiness bank account? Call Monica today 516-297-0672
December 1, 2015
Your higher self has the answer to all difficulties.How do you handle situations, conflicts and challenges that come up for you from time to time? Before I knew better, I would react from a place of powerlessness, however now I take a step back and ask my higher self what she would do. Every time I take the time to do this, I know I am coming from a place of empowerment and faith. It is a choice to look at the problem from a higher view. It is taking the time to meditate on and releasing the problem to the universe. Calming the mind and asking yourself that ever important question. What would your higher self do in this situation? The answer will come. You are now coming from a place of empowerment that will guide you to say, do and be authentic. When you react from a place of fear, that will only create more of what you are trying to avoid. Your higher self has the answer. Trust it, have faith, and move forward with courage in knowing that what ever you are facing, you are on the high road.