Just Be Kind!

July 10, 2019

Two weeks ago, I was taking a flight back from Atlanta to Kennedy Airport. The flight was delayed do to thunderstorms so I arrived in New York after midnight. Because of this the next train taking me to my home town was over an hour wait. I was grumbling and cursing that it was late, I was tired and wanted to get home. Then I said to myself, STOP IT! There’s nothing you can do so you must be here for a reason.

After taking the air-train to Jamaica station, I was pacing back and forth when I noticed a young Asian girl by herself with lots of luggage crying and  her head down into her cell phone. I asked her if there was something wrong and if I could help in some way. She nodded her head no. I left her alone but couldn’t let it go, so I was insistent to find out if she needed help.  She finally opened up and said she came here alone from China and had nowhere to stay for the night. Her airbnd wasn’t available until tomorrow morning and she didn’t know what to do. At this point an officer on duty came by too. I told him what her dilemma was and we both agreed that she should just stay at the Jamaica terminal until the morning. That it is safer than venturing out in the middle of the night.

  So she agreed. But she was still sobbing. Finally she trusted me enough to share that she didn’t know she could take an air-train to Jamaica, so she took a gypsy cab which charged her a $100.00 then quickly switched the $100 dollar bill for a $1 dollar bill and said she owned him another $100.00 (Not Kind!) OMG, that got my goat! I felt so sorry for her that she got ripped off of $200.00. Well, I gave her my business card and told her that if she needed anything at all, to please reach out.

She contacted me the next day and thanked me profusely! She said it made all the difference. Then she texted me right before she was leaving to let me know I gave her so much courage!. Just be kind. It changes everything! What goes around comes around. Be kind, Be nice! The more people can do this the better world you will see and experience.


Let’s Get Real

June 19, 2019

Honesty doesn’t always pay but dishonesty always costs

What is it about not being honest with ourselves or with others that people think they can hid and get away with? I tried to lie as a kid when I thought I would get punished, but I always got caught. Some how I never was able to get away with lying.

 

 

But what I’m talking about is not being real with ourselves. Being brutally honest with what works or what’s not working in our lives and making a change. I can remember staying in a relationship longer than I wanted to because I did’t want to hurt the other person. I compromised by values and rationalized (which I refer to as rational lies) to myself. Gosh, it was such an awful feeling that effected my health. I had headaches all the time!

Honest is the best policy. At the end of the day, being truthful and getting something off your chest to reveal what is in your heart and mind is so liberating. As a coach, I see this pattern so often. You get stressed and feel anxiety because you don’t want to change, even if you’re unhappy. You would rather numb the pain, hide the pain, shove it under the rug, stuff it, avoid it, lie about it, minimize it, blame others or anything to not having to deal with it. There is always a price to pay.

Let’s face it, it can be uncomfortable to reveal what you’ve been trying to hide. We are as sick as our secrets. So let the truth set you free, and get real like Pinocchio.


Don’t Leave Me Out!

May 22, 2019

 

Are your thoughts and words supporting you and creating a beautiful vision for your future or sabotaging you and keeping you a victim of your past? Words change worlds and make the invisible, visible.

As humans, our need to connect and feel like we belong is more important than anything else. When we don’t feel like we belong, we don’t feel safe, when we don’t feel safe, there is no trust, and when there is no trust, we protect ourselves and shut down.

When we shut down, there is no room for growth, the ability to learn or create. It feels like a pit in your stomach, like an unspoken entity that wants to be heard but you’re too afraid or don’t know how to talk about it.  Our emotions go into overdrive, fear sets in and our nervous system triggers the fight, flight or freeze responds. You’re in pure survival mode. Our amygdala gets hijacked and our brains are up-regulating stress hormones which compromises our immune system, causing dis-ease.

As opposed to when we feel safe, there is a feeling of openness and trust. The energy is completely different. There is a coherence between the heart and the brain which allows for cooperation, sharing, compassion and growth. We are able to navigate the uncertainties of life with faith and courage. When we feel safe and connected, we are building, expanding, developing, celebrating and creating possibilities that we didn’t see before. We fall in love with life!  The hormone oxytocin, the love hormone is oozing from our hearts.  Trust is generated by our pre-frontal cortex or the executive brain. The ladder is generated by our primitive brain, or the limbic brain. This is the shift we need to make so we can evolve from the survival mind-set to the creative mind-set.

Our words and the energy behind them can make someone feel included or excluded.

So, the question now is how do we transform a conversation so we can communicate on a higher level to open up the connections with ourselves and others.

It’s by making the invisible, visible. We must become aware of the feelings that are being triggered inside of us and the chemical cocktails we are either up regulating or down regulating within our bodies through the language of conversations.


Stinken Thinken

November 1, 2018

You are only as sick as your secrets. I want to be a part of a conversation that breaks down shame. Life happens. It’s about what you do with it. That’s were the grace lies.

Sean Corn  Yogi & Humanitarian

I was brought up in a time where you kept things within the family. You know, those family secrets. My parents were first generation American, they were both Holocaust survivors.  When they came here after the war, they worked really hard to make a living and raise a family. I can’t even image all the things they went through and witnessed. They had many secrets. They didn’t want to talk about all the horrible things they experienced and I can understand why. However, by them keeping secrets about their life, caused me to continue this cycle which resulted in a lot of shame and guilt that kept me emotionally captive. This is where addiction can hide its ugly self. Until I became aware that the secrets were not protecting me but keeping me a prisoner in my own life did I decide to liberate myself from them.

If you are caught up with the mind-set of what will the neighbors think, or if your afraid to shine, be different, stand out, be real, be authentic, be original, be vulnerable, Just be YOU!  There is goodness in you. You are worthy! You matter! You are amazing! You are loving and you are loved!

Share your beautiful self with others. Remember if you didn’t have a shadow, there would be no light.


Seek and Destroy

June 7, 2018
6 months into the year! Have you reached your goals? Have you lost the weight or given up those negative habits you set out to do on the 1st of the year? If not, what’s holding you back?
Are subconscious beliefs sabotaging your personal power? If you got more “I can’t” than “I can” messages as a child, you are probably having more “I can’t” than “I can” experiences as an adult. In other words, if you heard messages from parents and other authority figures that told you that your opinion didn’t count and that your actions didn’t matter, you are likely to have subconscious beliefs that mirror those ideas. The result is often a person with deep insecurities about their ability to positively affect the course of their lives. Some people overcompensate for this feeling of powerlessness by making a career out of becoming powerful. Usually this sense of power is achieved by acquiring money, possessions and social status.
Unfortunately, these external signs of power seldom satisfy the gnawing feeling of insecurity and powerlessness within. Anger,procrastination or  any negative behavior are signs that you are sabotaging your personal power.  People with authentic power can have an abundance of money, possessions and social status, but their personal power does not come from the things they have, but rather from who they are.

Sample Beliefs:

  • I trust the decisions I make.
  • I trust the Divine guidance I am receiving.
  • I acknowledge my ability and responsibility to make a positive difference in the world.
  • I actively embrace the opportunities that come with change.
  • I am true to my personal vision.
  • I am willing to take the risks necessary to live my life openly and honestly.
  • I give myself permission to do what I love.
So if you’re ready to get to the next level of greatness and change those behaviors that are not serving you, let’s have a conversation.
The quality of your culture depends on the quality of your relationships, which depend on the quality of your conversations.


Through the Looking Glass

November 10, 2015

through the looking glassWhat triggers your feelings? Do you believe that it is the outside world that makes you feel a certain way? Do you react to what people say, do, or how they behave?   Your feelings are an indicator of who you really are. Your feelings than get projected into an emotion. Emotions are the labels we give to our feelings. Say that you feel sad, well, the sadness is the emotion and the feeling could be discomfort in your body. All our feelings are cellular memories that we are bringing up over and over again. It is as if we are really living in the past.  What we may act like in our outer world could be totally different than what we are truly feeling. It is who I want you to think I am. This is our facade.  This gap creates ambiguity within the body, causing stress. What if you could go  through a looking glass and see yourself for who you really are. Beyond the feelings and labels we have come to memorize as us? You can learn to liberate yourself from feelings that keep you a prisoner in your body. The looking glass is meditation. It is going beyond the illusion of time, space, personality, and form. When you break the patterns that keep you addicted to the same feelings over and over, causing the same emotions to spring up, you will become a new person. You are no longer attached to the limiting feeling and you have closed the gap between you and you. You will have traveled through the looking  glass and reflecting back a new you!


Cowardly to Courageous

November 3, 2015

courageAre you feeling cowardly or courage? In the movie the Wizard of Oz, the cowardly lion was just that,faint-hearted, timid and fearful. He acted like a big shot, chasing little Toto around, but deep inside he didn’t have any courage. I find that that people who have the loudest roar usually are meek and insecure.

” The fearless are merely without fear. People who act in spite of their fear are truly brave.” Jamesing A. Lafond-Lewis

The cowardly lion went from begin a coward to courageous by stepping up and facing his fears. We are all faced with difficult situation at times. How we handle and confront those challenges are how we move from cowardly to courageous.

Every time we move forward with courage, we gain faith, strength, and confidence that we have the ability to overcome anything that comes our way. I know in my own life, when I was faced to go back into my comfort zone or take the leap of faith, and I faced my fear, I was always guided by spirit.

So the next time you have a choice to be cowardly or courageous, choose courageous,and just like the cowardly lion, you will feel empowered and confident.


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